Learning to Have Faith

This is my son, Jonah. He is mischievous, disobedient, flatulent, and rowdy--and I could never ask for a better buddy in the whole world.

My kids teach me lessons on a daily basis, but the lesson my son taught me recently has made quite an impact on my life.

It was the typical morning; my wife was furiously packing lunch boxes, the kids were getting dressed, and I was packing a suitcase. I travel almost every week with my job, so packing a bag has become the norm.

But this particular morning Jonah had wrapped his arms and legs tightly around my leg and would not let go. He held on so tightly, adding a loud groan and clinched face letting me know how hard it would be to separate him. I finally managed to pry him off of my leg. I quickly turned to get my suitcase and walked out to my car. As soon as I turned the key in the ignition, I saw his head in my rear view mirror. I still do not know how he got out the door and into the back seat of my car so quickly.

I got out of the front seat and sat beside him. "Jonah, what is wrong?" I asked him as tears started rolling down his cheeks.

"I wish God never invented work. Then you could stay with me always." He laid his head against my shoulder and kept crying.

"Jonah, I have to work because..." I stopped my justification before I could even begin. I realized that he will never understand the complexity of my world. There is nothing I could say to him that would make him understand. I tried to explain to Jonah that he needed to trust daddy.

As I drove away that morning, wiping the tears from my own cheeks, I thought about how that situation was so similar to the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father. I try to understand why certain things are allowed to happen or why he seems to have left me at times. I will never be able to understand the complexities of his world and there is nothing he could say that would help me to understand the reason for it all. I just need to trust him.

Meeting Their Needs

A couple of weeks ago I made a big mistake. This was one of the biggest mistakes I have made as a leader in the last few years.

In the midst of heavy traveling, hiring three new employees, working on research reports, and teaching online, I found myself completely overwhelmed. I had the bright idea of sharing this plight with my employees. (Please remember that I hardly ever see my team; they work at a distance.) I felt this innate need to share my workload with them in order to explain why I could not immediately be reached by phone or why my email correspondence was delayed. I wrote the email detailing my current projects but added the caveat "But please feel free to contact me if you need anything at all!"

The result of this email has been a severe lack of communication; misunderstandings, hurt feelings, ambiguity, and some resentment. I have had much to repair--if only I could go back in time!

Through this experience I have learned some valuable lessons:

• They need me to be strong. As my team labors on the front lines, they need to feel strength and security in my communications with them. When I come across overwhelmed, it makes them feel less confident in my abilities and sometimes adds to their stress. Suddenly I noticed more frequent comments about how busy everyone had become--my plight had spread like a plague.
• They need me to be available. Sometimes I have to be the sounding board for frustration, sometimes I am a comforter of personal loss, other times I am simply there to listen to a play-by-play of the week's activities. Whatever the current need is, I should be there to meet it no matter how many projects are on my desk.
• They need me to be positive. I used to think that if I was totally transparent with those who work for me they would see me as more human. There is a time and place for transparency, but my team needs me to be upbeat and positive at all times. There are some days when I will be the only bright spot of their day--why would I clutter that up with signs of stress and burden?
• They need me to be timely. The nature of our work requires that my staff has timely responses from me. They are out in the field every day talking to potential students, so they need answers quickly. What type of message does it send when I take a few days to answer because I am too busy? The message is demoralizing. I must drop what I am doing and answer them as soon as possible.

I cannot take back that email, but I can learn from this experience. I also learned that these needs are different than the staff I lead in my previous job. As a Leader, I am required to take the time to learn the needs of my team and adapt accordingly. My desk will just have to stay cluttered.

Could You be Someone's Turning Point?

As I read Becky Robinson's blog about transparency, I was immediately reminded of a time in my life when my sanity relied on being "see-through".

All of us face seasons in our lives from the cold death sting of Winter to the budding hopefulness of Spring. One dark period in my life was after the birth of our second child. We had moved to a new city, and I had taken a new job. No friends, no family, two small children, new job...it truly was the perfect storm. Moreover, it was commonplace for me to come home to my wife and kids all crying together in the floor.

Then I had a shingles break-out. They started at the crown of my head and spread down my forehead to my left eyelid. If you have ever dealt with shingles, you know what I went through; if you have not had shingles just imagine raised itchy lesions directly connected to your nerve endings--on your head!

The emptiness I felt was unbearable. My emotional life became a downward spiral to the point of suicidal tendencies. I managed to internalize as much as possible while at work. What else could I do? I had no one in the world to confide in, and how could I pull a coworker or supervisor aside who barely knew me and unload the baggage I was carrying?

Then, one day my supervisor asked me if I would like to go grab a bite to eat after my shift. I was afraid not to go in case this was some sort of peformance counseling. What happened was a turning point in my life. He simply asked me to talk. He genuinely wanted to know what was going on in my life. After a few awkward attempts at small talk, I opened up my soul. He attentively listened while I went late into the night--I had so much to dump!

This one simple act gave me hope that someone cared.

I do think there is a time and place for transparency. Every day we work alongside of real people with real problems. A leader will consider the humanness of his/her employees and take an interest in their well-being. One small effort to listen such as a lunch or phone call could have a monumental effect on another's life. Could you be part of a hurting person's turning point?

Mentoring New Employees

Recently, I was delighted to read an email from a colleague named Lynn thanking me for the guidance and assistance I had given during her transition into a new position. I have always been an advocate of assigning a mentor to new employees to help with the onboarding process. The benefits I receive from serving as a mentor can sometimes be just as valuable as the person being mentored. In this particular scenario, I had moved to a new department several months prior and I was tasked with training my replacement. Here are some learning points I gained through my latest experience:

Be objective.

I never shared my perception of people—coworkers, supervisors, subordinates, or any other constituents. No matter how open minded we think we are, our perceptions are shaped by our own subconscious. I did not want Lynn to see the company through my eyes, but through objective lenses. As Lynn confided in me, some of her observations were similar to my own; however I was careful not to confirm in an effort to remove myself entirely.

Be available.

I made myself available to her no matter how busy I found myself. The first few weeks were equally tough for both of us! I was trying to perform in my new environment, and at the same time lending my time to meet her needs. The investment was worth the sacrifice.

Be trustworthy.

Lynn had developed trust in me as her main confidant. As a mentor, you have an extremely important role as a confidential sounding board. Try to remember that there is emotional inflation that comes along with the anxiety of a new job. Unless there is something illegal or life-threatening, all conversations should be kept within the confines of the mentor/mentee relationship.

Be the initiator.

As time passed, Lynn needed me less and less. The daily challenges of the job took over and our conversations became more sporadic. As the mentor it is your responsibility to initiate follow up conversations to ensure the mentee is stable and functioning well within the organization. I sometimes encounter Lynn in person through meetings or company functions or see her emails come across my computer. I take these opportunities to check in with her, giving her an opportunity to reflect on her own progress.

I challenge you to look for the next opportunity to become a mentor to a new employee—the growth that comes from investing time and energy into another person is immeasurable.

Don't Drop Any More Fries!

I have one more story to share in an effort to illustrate common mistakes made with new hires. As you read, think about the anxiety you experienced with your first job and please share any anecdotes associated with your first day.

When I turned a very naive sixteen, I got my first job at a fast food restaurant.

I nervously reported for work; hands clammy, stomach flittering, mind racing. The manager on duty, Norma, was a tiny, shriveled woman with a permanent scowl. She directed me to the break room where I was to watch three videos and then report to her because I was going to be “the fry boy” that busy Friday night.

I watched the videos and found Norma racing about barking out orders among the chaos of beeping machines and sizzling burgers. All of this made me even more edgy. Norma showed me how to make the fries: open the bag, dump the raws in the basket, put them in the grease, push the button, when they beep, dump them in the warmer and salt them. This was my mission and purpose for the night.

Well, I opened, dumped, greased, pushed, dumped, and salted with all of my might. I have no idea what happened around me. Suddenly, Norma approached me and said, “Don’t drop any more fries.”

As she raced away, I looked down. In the process of being “fry boy” I had dropped a row of fries in the floor and had even stepped on them along the way. I found a broom and cleaned them up.

Back to opening, dumping, greasing, pushing, dumping and salting. I was careful not to drop any.

Again Norma approached me, this time furrowing her brow, “Don’t drop ANY more fries!”
I looked down. I had not dropped a single fry in the floor. I looked around for eye contact hoping someone had heard her command and could help me understand. There was no way I was going to chase her down and question her judgment.

Back to opening, dumping, greasing, pushing, dumping, and salting. It was an art!

This time Norma was in my face, our noses almost touching. “I SAID DON’T DROP ANY MORE FRIES!”

I felt so threatened by her tone, but could only muster a response above a whisper. Pointing down to the ground, I said, “But I haven’t dropped any fries!”

Norma sighed and rolled her eyes, with her hands on her hips replied, “No. I mean don’t cook any more. Don’t put any more in the grease. You know, don’t drop anymore.” Apparently “drop” had a duel meaning that no one had explained to me. I looked over at the warmer and saw a mountain of fries.

This was the first time I remember deciding that there existed injustices when it came to orienting people into new positions. From that day forward, I took every nervous fry boy and girl on as my mentee and made sure they knew what “dropping fries” meant.

The Dysfunction of Assumptions

One of the worst training experiences I had as a new employee was when I decided to take a job as a bank teller. There were no “cheesy” videos to watch, no employee manual, not even a bank tour. I reported for my first day of work and was placed under the care of a teller named Ellie. Even though it was my first day, Ellie used the phrase, “I assumed you knew that!” several times within the first few hours. From the protocol for answering the phone to the location of the restroom, Ellie “assumed” I knew it already.

The climax of my frustration peaked after lunch when Ellie told me to get my own drawer so she could observe me. First, I was to count the money. I asked her what the total amount should be and she replied “Five thousand dollars. I assumed you knew that!” Ellie walked away while I counted. I noticed a ten and five dollar bill in the corner of the drawer under a clip. Not knowing why these bills would be separated, I removed them and added them to the rest of the money. The phone at my booth rang.

“So-and-so bank, how can I help you?”

A deep aggressive voice on the other end asked, “Is Mr. Crawford ok?”

“Um, I’m sorry, what?”

“Is Mr. Crawford ok?”

“I think you have the wrong number. This is so-and-so bank.”

The voice, becoming frustrated, asked, “Is Mr. Crawford OK or NOT?”

I stood there for a moment. Do I hang up? Is Mr. Crawford the Bank President or a customer? What am I supposed to do? I saw Ellie approaching. I covered up the receiver with my hand. “There is a guy on the phone asking about Mr. Crawford and he’s getting upset.” Before I could finish, Ellie jerked the phone out of my hand.

“This is Ellie Cunningham. Mr. Crawford is OK. Thank you!” She hung it up and stared at me.

It turned out that removing the ten and five dollar bills from the clip in the corner of the drawer was the means to notify the police department of a robbery. When the clip moved, it triggered an electronic signal. The code the police used was the question, “Is Mr. Crawford OK?” If it was a real robbery the answer would be “No”, if it was a false alarm the answer would be “Yes”. And guess what, Ellie assumed I knew that.

While this example is extreme, how often do we frustrate and possibly scare off our new employees by assuming they know things? We hinder the development and acculturation of new hires when we create learning gaps through our assumptions. We can, of course, cut down on gaps by instituting a thorough orientation program. However, there is always something or someone not covered; that one thing or person could be very important! Never assume they know. A few suggestions:

During Meetings

Recently in a meeting I was referring to one of our business locations in Chester County, Pennsylvania. I had used the word “Chester” many times within my presentation. A newer employee who had been with the company several months, who I assumed knew about our Chester location, looked at me after a while and asked, “Who is this Chester?” I was embarrassed and so was she, and worse she had missed the entire conversation while trying to decipher my meaning. Also, the meeting was stalled while we all stopped to apologize, some giggled, and explain what I meant. If I had taken a few seconds to clarify at the beginning of my presentation it would have saved us all time and embarrassment.

Email Correspondence

Writing effective emails is truly an art, even when they are sent to seasoned colleagues. When an email will be sent to a new hire, every effort should be made to ensure the content is clear. Are there any assumptions made which will initiate several explanatory follow-up emails to eat up your time?

Social Functions

Why not make yourself a workplace ambassador at the next office function? Consider the new employee in the room—who should they meet? Make sure introductions are made which may facilitate professional relationships. This small act of mentoring could help lay a more solid foundation for your new coworker.

Please share your suggestions or stories of how you eliminated assumptions from your thought processes!

Watch that Workplace Jargon!

Recently my daughter chose an Amelia Bedelia book as her bedtime story. If you aren’t familiar with Amelia Bedelia, she is a maid who takes everything literally. For instance, when asked to “draw the drapes”, Amelia took out a sketch pad and drew a picture of them; when asked to “dress the turkey”, Amelia put clothes on the raw bird. You get the picture. As I read the story, my mind went back to a trainee I once met when I worked as Lead Trainer at a major restaurant chain.

I have always had a love for training and a particular interest in the successful orientation of new employees. As Lead Trainer, I took pride in making the onboarding transition of our new servers successful. I thought I had trained all types of people until I met Mary. After two full days of classroom training, it was time to take Mary out to experience the restaurant in full swing. It was an extremely busy Saturday morning. The dining room was full, we had a line at the door; Mary and I had guests in every chair of our section.

The communication between Mary and I began to break down when I asked her to “coffee table number 111”. You see, in the food service world, we turn nouns into verbs. If I were to ask you to “coffee my table” it would simply mean to go by and refill the coffee cups of the guests in my section of the dining room. When I asked Mary to “coffee” she stood there giving me a blank look. I kept moving about in the bustle of the morning rush and noticed she was still standing there. After explanation, she did as I asked and refilled the coffee cups at table number 111.

Next, I informed Mary that we needed to “86 the gravy”. You see, in the restaurant world when you “86” something it means you are either out of that product or you need to throw it out because it has exceeded is freshness expiration time. We went out to our next table to take their order. The guest ordered biscuits and gravy. Mary proceeded to tell them we had “86 orders left”. After leaving the table I explained to Mary that I had meant that we needed to discard that particular pan of gravy because it had expired.

By this time, I should have been more cautious, but I had not yet learned my lesson.
One of our cooks, Susie, brought up a fresh pan of biscuits to the front line. As soon as she placed the pan in the warmer, I asked Mary to “go time the biscuits”. You see, when you “time” food you simply label it with the expiration time. For instance, if the biscuits came out of the oven at 9:00 a.m. you would label them with a 9:30 a.m. tag since biscuits are only fresh enough to serve for 30 minutes. I left Mary and took off into the dining room to see about our guests. When I returned to the server aisle, Susie the cook was standing with her hands on her hips glaring at me. I looked at her inquisitively. “What the H--- do you have your trainee doing?” she barked.
“Um, not sure?” I muttered.
“Well, she’s standing back there watching my biscuits bake in the oven and staring at her watch. When I asked her what she was doing, she said you told her to ‘time the biscuits’!” From that point forward I handled Mary very differently, becoming keenly aware of my wording.

No matter the industry or workplace, there is specific jargon, sometimes an entire language that exists among employees. There are small intricacies such as abbreviations for buildings that can confuse new employees, causing undue stress and wasted time. We owe it to our new hires to explain this jargon in an effort to ease the onboarding process. Here are some suggestions:

Identify FAQ’s

After the “Mary” incident, my mind was awakened to and aware of a new workplace problem. I took note of the frequently misunderstood words and phrases by new employees. I typed these out in a glossary format and shared them with the rest of the trainers. We incorporated this “jargon cheat sheet” into the orientation process.

Look at Past Work History

Mary had never worked in food service. In fact, this was her first job. Each new hire should be evaluated in order to set proper expectations. Those who were hired by the restaurant with previous food service experience were most likely familiar with some or most of the jargon.

Watch for Signs of Stress

If I had taken the time to study Mary’s body language, I would have noticed that she was extremely stressed by her environment. When I thought back on the classroom training, I remember her staring at her material as if trying to decipher a foreign language and wringing her hands. If I were to stop and talk to her about her concerns, the entire episode could have been avoided. Sometimes we have the attitude about new employees that “they might as well get used to the stress”. Instead we should help new hires feel at ease and teach them techniques to handle stress effectively in order to increase retention.

Be attentive

Oftentimes when I am sending a new employee an email I will re-read the body to check for abbreviations or references to words that only “insiders” understand. For instance, at my current workplace we use a program called Jenzabar. Whenever I first started I was told to “open Jenzabar and retrieve the report” via email. Not only did I not know what Jenzabar was, but I definitely did not know how to pull information! True leaders will be sensitive to the fact that new employees need special treatment for a while until they catch on to the company culture.

Everyone should be On Board with Onboarding!

With the case of Mary, why couldn’t the other servers notice that she was lost and needed some assistance? Why couldn’t Susie the cook stop and try to understand the situation? Many times I have heard someone say, “Well that is Dallas’s new person. He needs to set her straight!” A new hire is everyone’s new hire. The entire organization should be on board with making the transition from newbie to veteran a fun and successful one.

Take some time to think about the first experiences you had at your current workplace. Were there words or phrases that were foreign to you? Help the next new hire by sharing the meaning of that jargon with them. You may have a long-term effect on your next teammate!