Developing Daily

From Termination to Determination

2010-06-29T04:00:00.000-07:00

June 28, 2004. A rare moment for me as I stared into the mirror. I caught my reflection and in disbelief noticed the heavy puffiness and darkness of my eyes. I saw a drawing down of my mouth to shape a frown that had not existed previously. I looked aged and sad.

In the background I could hear my two year old daughter yelling to get my wife’s attention and my eight month old wailing for some unknown reason. I heard the exasperated tone in my wife’s voice as she tried to reason with both of them. My wife and I had not spoken in days—not fighting, just wondering through the motions of our life as it had become.

I turned from the mirror to get dressed. I was headed to meet my manager to sign my termination documents.

The period leading to this day was one of the lowest in my life on so many levels—mentally, physically, and spiritually. A deep depression had set in as I worked over seventy hours a week in a highly stressful atmosphere only to come home to two crying children and an emotionally drained wife. If you’ve ever lived with depression you can understand that mental illness attacks the whole person. I had been deteriorated, taken over, by a cancer of sorts.

The life-altering and potentially devastating circumstance of being let go from my job could have sent me into a downward spiral, but instead gave me a renewed energy and drive. I remember being so overwhelmed with emotion that I cried hysterically as I drove away—I felt relief that I didn’t have to work somewhere that brought me so much unhappiness and I felt a new freedom bringing new possibilities.

I realize this doesn’t happen to everyone, but the very next day I interviewed and landed a job that led to a new life for me and my family. I think back to that day six years ago in awe of where I could have been if I were not terminated from that job. I’ve never been so thankful for a pink slip!

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

2010-06-22T14:40:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I waited almost the entire first semester to blog about my doctorate experience! This first term was challenging, exhilerating, and eye-opening to say the least.

There were days when I was sleepwalking, there were days that I cried and screamed, then there were days when I felt enlightened. But, through it all I keep moving forward--for that I am grateful!

At the beginning of the semester we all took an Emotional Quotient Inventory. My results came back at 78, which is below average. I stared in disbelief at the score and said to myself, 'I have below average emotional intelligence. So why am I in a doctorate program?'.

The next step was a session with my assigned mentor to talk about the inventory results to create a plan for improvement. My lowest score was self-regard. It was so low, in fact, that it drug down the rest of my results. Low self-confidence was no surprise to me.

What surprised me, though, was my ability to increase my level of self-regard through this program. I have witnessed myself gain confidence in many ways, of which I will talk about in future blogs. But the number one way? The most profound, but simple? I can look in the mirror.

Oh yes, look in the mirror. All of my life I have had difficulties looking at myself in the mirror. Some people who know me may find that hard to believe. But, it all ties back to my internal struggle; if I feel worthless on the inside, how will I feel about my physical presence?

The first semester of the Executive Leadership program has brought me through a rollar coaster of emotions. But I have found myself at the end of the first ride standing tall with a renewed sense of determination.

Yeah, just smiled at myself in the mirror--I'm looking good today!

2010-05-10T05:12:00.001-07:00

Trying out Ping.fm today...so far not sure if I like it more that tweetdeck.

The Balancing Act...

2010-03-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

I have not been a consistent blogger this week. I barely remember this week!

By Wednesday night I was asking, "Why am I such a glutton for punishment?" I was on the road for my job, checking into my hotel room late Wednesday night. I got out all of my textbooks, opened my laptop, and realized it had caught a virus. As I watched the thousands of pop-ups dance around the screen I saw my chances for productivity diminish.

I felt great anxiety as I stared at my laptop screen. The chaotic nature of the virus mirrored what was going on inside me. Not only did I have homework, but my work demands are fairly heavy right now as well. And I also knew that I had two kids sending me texts and calling me asking what I was going to do with them this weekend.

And so the great balancing act begins...

I will admit I felt hopeless. I drove almost 1,000 miles in three days for my job knowing in the back of my mind that all of my doctoral work would have to be completed over the weekend.
Then I remembered something I picked up during my residency. The mediation instructor shared with us that when tragedy hits and you get angry or frustrated you then have two things to deal with: the tragedy and your own anger.

I stopped, began breathing deeply, and began compartmentalizing my current circumstances. I slowly calmed down and felt in control. Wow. As much as I thought the meditation segment of my residency did not help me, I felt as if I learned a new technique to dealing with stress that would carry me through this three year experience.

It is Monday morning at midnight as I type. I was able to complete my assignment and chat competently with my cohort tonight. I managed. I was even able to give my kids and wife the attention they deserved. It is a balancing act, and for now I feel stable.

Critical Thinking

2010-03-06T04:22:00.000-08:00

The first week of living my regular life while balancing doctoral study has been exhilarating and rewarding. I have experienced less sleep, but so far can't say that I mind given the fact that I enjoy the reading and other assignments. This week also began the team assignment.

To begin doctoral research, we are discussing and discovering the skill of critical thinking. I will admit that I have a track record of thought processes which were not rational nor objective. I have made decisions which were not rooted in a sound thought process and created unfair generalizations in my mind of situation and people. As I have developed as a leader, I feel I can think much more critically but I do need improvement. I have difficulty making sound decisions when I am in the heat of a moment because I switch to the emotional side of my psyche.

There are so many dimensions to thinking in a critical way. We need to look back on the reasoning of each of our decisions to decide if we were sound, moral, and open. I have found that if I look back on mistakes it helps me to catch myself from switching gears to emotion and staying in the logical and valid mode.

An important part of this is also making the decision to think clearly when having discussions with others. When someone makes a claim or statement, how is that view judged in our mind? Or is that view judged at all? I have always maintained that critical thinking is not my view or the other view, but a third view that rises about the two sides to take conversations to a third dimension. This is difficult to apply in real life, but can be possible with deliberate effort.

This week I feel my reactions to situations were, for the most part, grounded in a more logical foundation. I know that I would have viewed certain aspects of my week differently if my past view of thinking had been maintained. The reading and assignment have helped me to analyze my thoughts, where they came from, and what effect they'll have once released. This should help me today as I sit down to research my first paper (due March 14!).

And they're off...

2010-03-02T21:14:00.000-08:00

The residency is over and we were sent out in fifteen different directions across the nation to begin the journey. With our syllabi and calendar for the first year in hand, we all left with a sense of anxiousness. I personally felt nervous because I knew that I would step back into the routine of life, but now with the added expectations of large reading assignments and multiple papers to write.

And here I am late at night, when I would normally be in bed, taking a break from the reading assignment and preparing to post a discussion about doctoral research. Life has changed for me.

One part of this program that I feel is different than most is the group intimacy which comes from a cohort environment. As we got to know one another this weekend, we all knew that we would be classmates together for the next three years. We all knew that if we were going to walk across the stage in our new regalia that it would have to be a group effort.

I look forward to working with my cohort, to forging life-long relationships. I have officially become a part of an intellectual community. We are peers who will be there through the thick and thin of the journey, to hold one another up as we proceed toward the goal. Life has changed for all of us.

Life Stream

2010-02-28T18:06:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, Dr. White asked us to illustrate our life stream. He passed out four foot long sheets of paper and asked us to show—any way we wanted—how major events in our life has shaped who we are today. Each one of us interpreted this task in different ways. I took an artistic approach and drew a stream across my paper with words flowing in the water describing different phase in my life. I drew pictures along the stream which represented the monumental events that I felt shaped me as a person and as a leader. I have shared part of that life stream here. The rest of it is too personal to share with the world!

I have difficulties with exposing myself to people, especially those I just met. I was definitely taken out of my comfort zone. As I began drawing, a metaphorical stream of emotions began pouring out of me. I conjured up memories that I didn’t even know I had, and re-lived some hurtful moments in my life. I was an emotional wreck by the time I finished. Then it was time to present to the class…………

I managed to share with the class without becoming externally emotional. My voice quivered as I spoke, but I held it back to the end. As I sat down and reflected, I realized that I have not come to terms with a lot of hurt and pain. I thought I was over certain scars, but sharing them with the group made me realize that I need to deal with some issues. And I also realized that allowing them to fester has hindered my effectiveness as a leader.

Afterward, we all admitted that we shared intimate information that we would never share with anyone else. You see, we will be closely involved with one another for the next three years. We are in this program together, and need one another to survive! We are a support group, an intellectual community. We need to understand and trust one another in order to be successful. My three words at the end of the day was “feeling emotionally gutted”. But, the amazing part of the day was that I grew as a person through that one exercise. I have changed and it is only the third day of the program!

It is possible.

2010-02-26T17:20:00.000-08:00

The first day of the residency was long, but enlightening. I didn't get home until 2am the previous morning from Houston. As I pulled into the parking lot at 7:40 am, my first impulse was to pull out. I was nervous, and intimidated at the thought of all the professional people from around the world who would be my classmates. I fight inferiority constantly!

I did not pull out, but did join 14 others for a very long day (didn't end until 11pm) of discussions, discovery, and focus on the future.

Most of the day was spent discussing the idea of being a scholar-practitioner. Many doctoral programs are based on research only. Many of these students will become scholars in the world of academe. But, this program is based on the model of a scholar who also practices in the field. We will be able to apply what we are learning as we research. This sounds exciting to me.

My person obstacle will be the practice of scholarly concepts. I have always made the same mistakes over again. My vision for myself is to look back at my journals and see that as I have learned new ideas and uncovered my mistakes that I have applied that to my life. This is not always true. My mind becomes high jacked sometimes and I lose my barrings.

I met people from around the nation and from very different backgrounds. As I looked around the room I realized that even though I am the youngest and most inexperienced in the group, everyone else looked anxious, wide-eyed, and inquisitive about the next three years. I felt like a peer.

At the end of the day Dr. White asked us to sum up our feelings after the first day in three words. My contribution was "It is possible". I feel confident about attaining my doctorate and that is not a feeling I experience very often.

Mirrors, Lenses, and Windows

2010-02-25T05:26:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the big day. The residency begins Friday, February 26th at 8am. I am sitting in Houston watching the weather report for WV wondering if I'll be able to make it back in time. I've spent the week reading my assignments and trying to accept myself as a future scholar in the field of Leadership. Such a strange concept when I think back to my roots as a child of teenage pregnancy, alcoholism, and the absence of college degrees throughout the generations before me.

The metaphor of mirrors, lenses, and windows is used in The Formation of Scholars, a pre-reading assignment for my doctorate. Mirrors allow us to look at our reflection, lenses help us to pinpoint areas of improvement for sharper focus, and windows open ourselves up to others and allow us to view them.

The idea of the doctorate program providing the unique opportunity for me to use mirrors, lenses, and windows excites me and also scares me a little.

In the physical realm, I avoid mirrors at all costs. Yes, I struggle with low self-worth and honestly only look in the mirror in the morning because I have to avoid cutting myself shaving. In the metaphorical sense, I do enjoy helping others develop, to see where they need to improve, to "enlighten" them on strengths and weaknesses. I live for this! But, when it comes to looking at myself, I back away for fear of exposing myself and allowing my vulnerability to show.

Knowing this about myself, putting a lens on my weak areas to allow for sharper focus makes my palms sweat. I want to improve, I have a mission to improve, but I don't want others to know! I have a secret place where I recognize my faults but hide them from the world. By putting a lens on those, everyone will know my opportunities for improvement. I do realize that by including others my journey will be enriched.

Further, by opening my window I am taking a huge leap. I feel as if I am standing at my window with the blinds drawn, my hand on the cord, nervously anticipating the bright light that will result by allowing the world to view my progress. This will take me out of my comfort zone. This will be hard for me, but so good. I feel as if this program came along at just the right time in my life. I am ready!

Less than 12 hours. I can do it.

Walker, G.E., Golde, C.M., Jones, L., Bueschel, A.C., & Hutchings, P. (2008). The Formation of Scholars. CA: Jossey-Bass

My Identity--A Doctoral Journey

2010-02-21T12:49:00.000-08:00

As I stared at the calendar today, I realized that I am four days away from the first day of the first residency of my doctorate program. I also realized that I must change the direction of my blog. I have been transitioning over the past few months--mentally preparing myself for the endeavour of achieving a doctorate.

I purchased the texts for the pre-reading weeks ago. They have been staring at me from the corner of my bedroom like the money I could have saved from Gieco. I have known that as soon as I opened the first book my three year journey will have begun and my life will have changed.

This weekend I began reading The Formation of Scholars, the first assignment for the Doctor of Executive Leadership program at Mountain State University. What I discovered in the first chapter has already affected me in a profound way.

For the past few months, many people have asked me why I decided to enroll in this program. I have not been able to answer. I suppose it seemed like the next step for me.

As I read the text, Walker, Golde, Jones, Bueschel & Hutchins (2008) explained that doctoral education leads to the formation of the "scholar's professional identity in all its dimensions"(8). I sat the text down after reading those words and basked in my epiphany. You see, I have been searching for my identity for a long time. I know my roles--husband, father, citizen, leader--but I have never discovered who I am, what defines Dallas Bragg. Suddenly I realized why I am in this place at this particular time; the formation of my identity.

This will be a journey of discovery, a milestone which will change my direction and revolutionize my inner and outer man. Dread has been replaced by excitement, doubt by hopefulness, fear by determination. The promise of the next three years has left me fulfilled, and they haven't even started yet!

Walker, G.E., Golde, C.M., Jones, L., Bueschel, A.C., & Hutchings, P. (2008). The Formation of Scholars. CA: Jossey-Bass

Learning to Have Faith

2009-11-18T17:27:00.000-08:00

This is my son, Jonah. He is mischievous, disobedient, flatulent, and rowdy--and I could never ask for a better buddy in the whole world.

My kids teach me lessons on a daily basis, but the lesson my son taught me recently has made quite an impact on my life.

It was the typical morning; my wife was furiously packing lunch boxes, the kids were getting dressed, and I was packing a suitcase. I travel almost every week with my job, so packing a bag has become the norm.

But this particular morning Jonah had wrapped his arms and legs tightly around my leg and would not let go. He held on so tightly, adding a loud groan and clinched face letting me know how hard it would be to separate him. I finally managed to pry him off of my leg. I quickly turned to get my suitcase and walked out to my car. As soon as I turned the key in the ignition, I saw his head in my rear view mirror. I still do not know how he got out the door and into the back seat of my car so quickly.

I got out of the front seat and sat beside him. "Jonah, what is wrong?" I asked him as tears started rolling down his cheeks.

"I wish God never invented work. Then you could stay with me always." He laid his head against my shoulder and kept crying.

"Jonah, I have to work because..." I stopped my justification before I could even begin. I realized that he will never understand the complexity of my world. There is nothing I could say to him that would make him understand. I tried to explain to Jonah that he needed to trust daddy.

As I drove away that morning, wiping the tears from my own cheeks, I thought about how that situation was so similar to the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father. I try to understand why certain things are allowed to happen or why he seems to have left me at times. I will never be able to understand the complexities of his world and there is nothing he could say that would help me to understand the reason for it all. I just need to trust him.

Meeting Their Needs

2009-11-15T08:57:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I made a big mistake. This was one of the biggest mistakes I have made as a leader in the last few years.

In the midst of heavy traveling, hiring three new employees, working on research reports, and teaching online, I found myself completely overwhelmed. I had the bright idea of sharing this plight with my employees. (Please remember that I hardly ever see my team; they work at a distance.) I felt this innate need to share my workload with them in order to explain why I could not immediately be reached by phone or why my email correspondence was delayed. I wrote the email detailing my current projects but added the caveat "But please feel free to contact me if you need anything at all!"

The result of this email has been a severe lack of communication; misunderstandings, hurt feelings, ambiguity, and some resentment. I have had much to repair--if only I could go back in time!

Through this experience I have learned some valuable lessons:

They need me to be strong. As my team labors on the front lines, they need to feel strength and security in my communications with them. When I come across overwhelmed, it makes them feel less confident in my abilities and sometimes adds to their stress. Suddenly I noticed more frequent comments about how busy everyone had become--my plight had spread like a plague.
They need me to be available. Sometimes I have to be the sounding board for frustration, sometimes I am a comforter of personal loss, other times I am simply there to listen to a play-by-play of the week's activities. Whatever the current need is, I should be there to meet it no matter how many projects are on my desk.
They need me to be positive. I used to think that if I was totally transparent with those who work for me they would see me as more human. There is a time and place for transparency, but my team needs me to be upbeat and positive at all times. There are some days when I will be the only bright spot of their day--why would I clutter that up with signs of stress and burden?
They need me to be timely. The nature of our work requires that my staff has timely responses from me. They are out in the field every day talking to potential students, so they need answers quickly. What type of message does it send when I take a few days to answer because I am too busy? The message is demoralizing. I must drop what I am doing and answer them as soon as possible.

I cannot take back that email, but I can learn from this experience. I also learned that these needs are different than the staff I lead in my previous job. As a Leader, I am required to take the time to learn the needs of my team and adapt accordingly. My desk will just have to stay cluttered.

Could You be Someone's Turning Point?

2009-11-07T18:31:00.000-08:00

As I read Becky Robinson's blog about transparency, I was immediately reminded of a time in my life when my sanity relied on being "see-through".

All of us face seasons in our lives from the cold death sting of Winter to the budding hopefulness of Spring. One dark period in my life was after the birth of our second child. We had moved to a new city, and I had taken a new job. No friends, no family, two small children, new job...it truly was the perfect storm. Moreover, it was commonplace for me to come home to my wife and kids all crying together in the floor.

Then I had a shingles break-out. They started at the crown of my head and spread down my forehead to my left eyelid. If you have ever dealt with shingles, you know what I went through; if you have not had shingles just imagine raised itchy lesions directly connected to your nerve endings--on your head!

The emptiness I felt was unbearable. My emotional life became a downward spiral to the point of suicidal tendencies. I managed to internalize as much as possible while at work. What else could I do? I had no one in the world to confide in, and how could I pull a coworker or supervisor aside who barely knew me and unload the baggage I was carrying?

Then, one day my supervisor asked me if I would like to go grab a bite to eat after my shift. I was afraid not to go in case this was some sort of peformance counseling. What happened was a turning point in my life. He simply asked me to talk. He genuinely wanted to know what was going on in my life. After a few awkward attempts at small talk, I opened up my soul. He attentively listened while I went late into the night--I had so much to dump!

This one simple act gave me hope that someone cared.

I do think there is a time and place for transparency. Every day we work alongside of real people with real problems. A leader will consider the humanness of his/her employees and take an interest in their well-being. One small effort to listen such as a lunch or phone call could have a monumental effect on another's life. Could you be part of a hurting person's turning point?

Mentoring New Employees

2009-11-02T08:48:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was delighted to read an email from a colleague named Lynn thanking me for the guidance and assistance I had given during her transition into a new position. I have always been an advocate of assigning a mentor to new employees to help with the onboarding process. The benefits I receive from serving as a mentor can sometimes be just as valuable as the person being mentored. In this particular scenario, I had moved to a new department several months prior and I was tasked with training my replacement. Here are some learning points I gained through my latest experience:

Be objective.

I never shared my perception of people—coworkers, supervisors, subordinates, or any other constituents. No matter how open minded we think we are, our perceptions are shaped by our own subconscious. I did not want Lynn to see the company through my eyes, but through objective lenses. As Lynn confided in me, some of her observations were similar to my own; however I was careful not to confirm in an effort to remove myself entirely.

Be available.

I made myself available to her no matter how busy I found myself. The first few weeks were equally tough for both of us! I was trying to perform in my new environment, and at the same time lending my time to meet her needs. The investment was worth the sacrifice.

Be trustworthy.

Lynn had developed trust in me as her main confidant. As a mentor, you have an extremely important role as a confidential sounding board. Try to remember that there is emotional inflation that comes along with the anxiety of a new job. Unless there is something illegal or life-threatening, all conversations should be kept within the confines of the mentor/mentee relationship.

Be the initiator.

As time passed, Lynn needed me less and less. The daily challenges of the job took over and our conversations became more sporadic. As the mentor it is your responsibility to initiate follow up conversations to ensure the mentee is stable and functioning well within the organization. I sometimes encounter Lynn in person through meetings or company functions or see her emails come across my computer. I take these opportunities to check in with her, giving her an opportunity to reflect on her own progress.

I challenge you to look for the next opportunity to become a mentor to a new employee—the growth that comes from investing time and energy into another person is immeasurable.

Don't Drop Any More Fries!

2009-10-30T18:05:00.000-07:00

I have one more story to share in an effort to illustrate common mistakes made with new hires. As you read, think about the anxiety you experienced with your first job and please share any anecdotes associated with your first day.

When I turned a very naive sixteen, I got my first job at a fast food restaurant.

I nervously reported for work; hands clammy, stomach flittering, mind racing. The manager on duty, Norma, was a tiny, shriveled woman with a permanent scowl. She directed me to the break room where I was to watch three videos and then report to her because I was going to be “the fry boy” that busy Friday night.

I watched the videos and found Norma racing about barking out orders among the chaos of beeping machines and sizzling burgers. All of this made me even more edgy. Norma showed me how to make the fries: open the bag, dump the raws in the basket, put them in the grease, push the button, when they beep, dump them in the warmer and salt them. This was my mission and purpose for the night.

Well, I opened, dumped, greased, pushed, dumped, and salted with all of my might. I have no idea what happened around me. Suddenly, Norma approached me and said, “Don’t drop any more fries.”

As she raced away, I looked down. In the process of being “fry boy” I had dropped a row of fries in the floor and had even stepped on them along the way. I found a broom and cleaned them up.

Back to opening, dumping, greasing, pushing, dumping and salting. I was careful not to drop any.

Again Norma approached me, this time furrowing her brow, “Don’t drop ANY more fries!”
I looked down. I had not dropped a single fry in the floor. I looked around for eye contact hoping someone had heard her command and could help me understand. There was no way I was going to chase her down and question her judgment.

Back to opening, dumping, greasing, pushing, dumping, and salting. It was an art!

This time Norma was in my face, our noses almost touching. “I SAID DON’T DROP ANY MORE FRIES!”

I felt so threatened by her tone, but could only muster a response above a whisper. Pointing down to the ground, I said, “But I haven’t dropped any fries!”

Norma sighed and rolled her eyes, with her hands on her hips replied, “No. I mean don’t cook any more. Don’t put any more in the grease. You know, don’t drop anymore.” Apparently “drop” had a duel meaning that no one had explained to me. I looked over at the warmer and saw a mountain of fries.

This was the first time I remember deciding that there existed injustices when it came to orienting people into new positions. From that day forward, I took every nervous fry boy and girl on as my mentee and made sure they knew what “dropping fries” meant.

The Dysfunction of Assumptions

2009-10-27T19:55:00.000-07:00

One of the worst training experiences I had as a new employee was when I decided to take a job as a bank teller. There were no “cheesy” videos to watch, no employee manual, not even a bank tour. I reported for my first day of work and was placed under the care of a teller named Ellie. Even though it was my first day, Ellie used the phrase, “I assumed you knew that!” several times within the first few hours. From the protocol for answering the phone to the location of the restroom, Ellie “assumed” I knew it already.

The climax of my frustration peaked after lunch when Ellie told me to get my own drawer so she could observe me. First, I was to count the money. I asked her what the total amount should be and she replied “Five thousand dollars. I assumed you knew that!” Ellie walked away while I counted. I noticed a ten and five dollar bill in the corner of the drawer under a clip. Not knowing why these bills would be separated, I removed them and added them to the rest of the money. The phone at my booth rang.

“So-and-so bank, how can I help you?”

A deep aggressive voice on the other end asked, “Is Mr. Crawford ok?”

“Um, I’m sorry, what?”

“Is Mr. Crawford ok?”

“I think you have the wrong number. This is so-and-so bank.”

The voice, becoming frustrated, asked, “Is Mr. Crawford OK or NOT?”

I stood there for a moment. Do I hang up? Is Mr. Crawford the Bank President or a customer? What am I supposed to do? I saw Ellie approaching. I covered up the receiver with my hand. “There is a guy on the phone asking about Mr. Crawford and he’s getting upset.” Before I could finish, Ellie jerked the phone out of my hand.

“This is Ellie Cunningham. Mr. Crawford is OK. Thank you!” She hung it up and stared at me.

It turned out that removing the ten and five dollar bills from the clip in the corner of the drawer was the means to notify the police department of a robbery. When the clip moved, it triggered an electronic signal. The code the police used was the question, “Is Mr. Crawford OK?” If it was a real robbery the answer would be “No”, if it was a false alarm the answer would be “Yes”. And guess what, Ellie assumed I knew that.

While this example is extreme, how often do we frustrate and possibly scare off our new employees by assuming they know things? We hinder the development and acculturation of new hires when we create learning gaps through our assumptions. We can, of course, cut down on gaps by instituting a thorough orientation program. However, there is always something or someone not covered; that one thing or person could be very important! Never assume they know. A few suggestions:

During Meetings

Recently in a meeting I was referring to one of our business locations in Chester County, Pennsylvania. I had used the word “Chester” many times within my presentation. A newer employee who had been with the company several months, who I assumed knew about our Chester location, looked at me after a while and asked, “Who is this Chester?” I was embarrassed and so was she, and worse she had missed the entire conversation while trying to decipher my meaning. Also, the meeting was stalled while we all stopped to apologize, some giggled, and explain what I meant. If I had taken a few seconds to clarify at the beginning of my presentation it would have saved us all time and embarrassment.

Email Correspondence

Writing effective emails is truly an art, even when they are sent to seasoned colleagues. When an email will be sent to a new hire, every effort should be made to ensure the content is clear. Are there any assumptions made which will initiate several explanatory follow-up emails to eat up your time?

Social Functions

Why not make yourself a workplace ambassador at the next office function? Consider the new employee in the room—who should they meet? Make sure introductions are made which may facilitate professional relationships. This small act of mentoring could help lay a more solid foundation for your new coworker.

Please share your suggestions or stories of how you eliminated assumptions from your thought processes!

Watch that Workplace Jargon!

2009-10-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

Recently my daughter chose an Amelia Bedelia book as her bedtime story. If you aren’t familiar with Amelia Bedelia, she is a maid who takes everything literally. For instance, when asked to “draw the drapes”, Amelia took out a sketch pad and drew a picture of them; when asked to “dress the turkey”, Amelia put clothes on the raw bird. You get the picture. As I read the story, my mind went back to a trainee I once met when I worked as Lead Trainer at a major restaurant chain.

I have always had a love for training and a particular interest in the successful orientation of new employees. As Lead Trainer, I took pride in making the onboarding transition of our new servers successful. I thought I had trained all types of people until I met Mary. After two full days of classroom training, it was time to take Mary out to experience the restaurant in full swing. It was an extremely busy Saturday morning. The dining room was full, we had a line at the door; Mary and I had guests in every chair of our section.

The communication between Mary and I began to break down when I asked her to “coffee table number 111”. You see, in the food service world, we turn nouns into verbs. If I were to ask you to “coffee my table” it would simply mean to go by and refill the coffee cups of the guests in my section of the dining room. When I asked Mary to “coffee” she stood there giving me a blank look. I kept moving about in the bustle of the morning rush and noticed she was still standing there. After explanation, she did as I asked and refilled the coffee cups at table number 111.

Next, I informed Mary that we needed to “86 the gravy”. You see, in the restaurant world when you “86” something it means you are either out of that product or you need to throw it out because it has exceeded is freshness expiration time. We went out to our next table to take their order. The guest ordered biscuits and gravy. Mary proceeded to tell them we had “86 orders left”. After leaving the table I explained to Mary that I had meant that we needed to discard that particular pan of gravy because it had expired.

By this time, I should have been more cautious, but I had not yet learned my lesson.
One of our cooks, Susie, brought up a fresh pan of biscuits to the front line. As soon as she placed the pan in the warmer, I asked Mary to “go time the biscuits”. You see, when you “time” food you simply label it with the expiration time. For instance, if the biscuits came out of the oven at 9:00 a.m. you would label them with a 9:30 a.m. tag since biscuits are only fresh enough to serve for 30 minutes. I left Mary and took off into the dining room to see about our guests. When I returned to the server aisle, Susie the cook was standing with her hands on her hips glaring at me. I looked at her inquisitively. “What the H--- do you have your trainee doing?” she barked.
“Um, not sure?” I muttered.
“Well, she’s standing back there watching my biscuits bake in the oven and staring at her watch. When I asked her what she was doing, she said you told her to ‘time the biscuits’!” From that point forward I handled Mary very differently, becoming keenly aware of my wording.

No matter the industry or workplace, there is specific jargon, sometimes an entire language that exists among employees. There are small intricacies such as abbreviations for buildings that can confuse new employees, causing undue stress and wasted time. We owe it to our new hires to explain this jargon in an effort to ease the onboarding process. Here are some suggestions:

Identify FAQ’s

After the “Mary” incident, my mind was awakened to and aware of a new workplace problem. I took note of the frequently misunderstood words and phrases by new employees. I typed these out in a glossary format and shared them with the rest of the trainers. We incorporated this “jargon cheat sheet” into the orientation process.

Look at Past Work History

Mary had never worked in food service. In fact, this was her first job. Each new hire should be evaluated in order to set proper expectations. Those who were hired by the restaurant with previous food service experience were most likely familiar with some or most of the jargon.

Watch for Signs of Stress

If I had taken the time to study Mary’s body language, I would have noticed that she was extremely stressed by her environment. When I thought back on the classroom training, I remember her staring at her material as if trying to decipher a foreign language and wringing her hands. If I were to stop and talk to her about her concerns, the entire episode could have been avoided. Sometimes we have the attitude about new employees that “they might as well get used to the stress”. Instead we should help new hires feel at ease and teach them techniques to handle stress effectively in order to increase retention.

Be attentive

Oftentimes when I am sending a new employee an email I will re-read the body to check for abbreviations or references to words that only “insiders” understand. For instance, at my current workplace we use a program called Jenzabar. Whenever I first started I was told to “open Jenzabar and retrieve the report” via email. Not only did I not know what Jenzabar was, but I definitely did not know how to pull information! True leaders will be sensitive to the fact that new employees need special treatment for a while until they catch on to the company culture.

Everyone should be On Board with Onboarding!

With the case of Mary, why couldn’t the other servers notice that she was lost and needed some assistance? Why couldn’t Susie the cook stop and try to understand the situation? Many times I have heard someone say, “Well that is Dallas’s new person. He needs to set her straight!” A new hire is everyone’s new hire. The entire organization should be on board with making the transition from newbie to veteran a fun and successful one.

Take some time to think about the first experiences you had at your current workplace. Were there words or phrases that were foreign to you? Help the next new hire by sharing the meaning of that jargon with them. You may have a long-term effect on your next teammate!

Me and My Shadow

2009-08-02T12:03:00.002-07:00

I come from a long line of bigots. My father in particular tried to raise me to hate other races, the opposite sex, and almost anyone who was different than our white, rural West Virginia family. I am from a county that has never had a traffic light, where there are more cows than people, and where the towns and landscape is almost exactly the same as it looks in my grandparents' pictures from 50 years ago.

While I was growing up there, I knew of only three African American families in the county who lived side-by-side on my road (known as Devil's Holler). I would stare out the window at their houses when we drove by wondering what their life was like inside. My father would usually make an offensive comment when we happened to see kids playing in the yard or someone out washing their car. As I grew older, I saw tensions flare on the school bus each evening as they unloaded at the designated stop. Other kids, including my relatives, would call them names or instigate a small brawl that required the driver to sling opponents from one end of the bus to the other.

As these circumstances unfolded before me, I made the choice to be fair and open-minded. I did all I could to make myself different than my father, so racism was the first order of business. As a teenager I thought myself fairly tolerant--at least compared to most at my school. I realized later on in my life that I possessed certain judgements about people which were hidden. Through self-discovery and the help of others, I came to terms with some of these hidden feelings and dealt with them. Because I had grown up with prejudices in my environment, I had inadvertently accepted them as part of my psyche.

Now in my 30's I find myself in a place where I have identified my core values and choose to follow them in all sectors of my life. I am on a quest to be aware of what I believe and why; little did I know that I was much further behind on this quest than I gave myself credit.

While traveling last week, I was sitting in an airport waiting for my delayed flight to be called. I was reading Leadership From the Inside Out by Kevin Cashman. A great book for those who want to analytically search their internal selves to lead others more effectively. Cashman pointed out that everyone has Conscious Beliefs as well as Shadow Beliefs. Shadow beliefs are those thoughts we accept about others and ourselves lurking somewhere beneath the surface. These beliefs are there steering our decisions and insights without our knowledge.

I had just completed this section and the exercise asking the reader to identify some shadow beliefs. After much deliberation I had concocted what I believed to be a comprehensive list describing the gremlin within me. Just then the flight was called and I was in line. I was in zone 3 so I had to wait for those lucky 1's and 2's to board first. As I waited, a lady bumped me as she rushed by with two large carry-on bags and a suitcase on wheels. She was obviously in zone 1.

The lady was dressed in a very nice business suit, wearing heavy make-up, and donning her blond hair up on her head in a regal twist. As she swooshed by me, her extensive jewelry clanged and her high heels clopped. Internally--and I am quite sure externally--I rolled my eyes with disgust. Oh, important debutant coming through! All peons make way! I judged her on the spot. Oh, and she was Caucasian.

A few minutes later, the gentleman behind me shook me out of my judgemental fog. He was talking and laughing loudly on his cell phone. A pet peeve of mine. Already feeling annoyed, I turned to look at the offender. He was a middle-aged man burnt by the sun, dressed in a tank top and cut-off shorts. He was covered almost entirely by tattoos. I rolled my virtual eyes again while musing that the other end of the class spectrum had the nerve to interrupt my intelligent thought cycle about Shadow Beliefs. And, by the way, he was also Caucasian.

As I located my seat on the plane, who would happen to be placed in the middle seat of my three seat row? The Debutant. Oh Great! Once settled, I was checking emails on my phone. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the sandal-bearing tattooed feet of the loud middle-aged man waiting for me to move so he could sit between the debutant and the window. I sat back, took out my book, and prepared myself for an awkward flight.

"So, what was your motivation?" The Debutant asked in a refined Southern drawl.

I turned to her, assuming she was asking about my book, and prepared to talk about my reading. What I saw was the back of her french twist. She had asked the tattooed man about his collection of body pictures. They went on to carry a conversation throughout the entire flight. They spoke of their jobs, their past, their love life, and of course about the tattoos. I sat dumbfounded. I stared at the seat in front of me feeling like a hypocrite, a fake, a joke. How could I have judged them? After all I have experienced in my life, and while reading about this very thing--why? Was it okay because they were both white? And how quickly I had developed a nick-name for this lady!

I discovered the shadow beliefs operating inside me that alter my thinking, blur my vision of the world, and connect me to my ancestors who see people as less than themselves. Are these shadow beliefs affecting my personnel decisions? My overall leadership style? My mind swirled with self-reflective questions. That plane ride took me off course, made me pull over and go back to the drawing board! This was a milestone for me. A wake-up call. I am more determined than ever to break this generational legacy and begin a new one for my children. Time to shine a light on those shadows.